I have this thing where I don't like uncertainty. I don't like the unknown (like most humans, I would imagine). I fight against it. Literally, I do everything in my power to know everything which, at the end of the day, just isn't a feasible task.
I've been working with my therapist to become more comfortable living in the gray areas and I like to think I've made a lot of progress. Still, there come times when the anxiety gnaws at me because I don't know what's going to happen to me. I don't trust myself and my ability to make decisions which is sort of silly since I've done a pretty good job so far.
I don't trust myself and I don't like change so the thought of my immediate world changing is stressful. More than stressful. It's can't-eat-lunch-I'm-going-to-be-sick stressful (still working with the therapist on that).
To counteract my fear, I try to hold on to the things I do know. I know this blog will continue to be. I know I love my animals and family and they love me. I know the sun will probably rise tomorrow. I know I will always love PSL.
I don't know where I'm going to be living this time next year. I don't know if I'll be at the same job. I don't know if I want those things to stay the same, but I also don't know if I want them to change. I'm a disaster, I know, but hey, I guess that's another thing I know.
BFF
I have tried very, very hard to not come back to this blog. I actively remind myself of why it would be best left like a time capsule, buried under Internet dirt and undisturbed for future generations. Has there ever been a time capsule that's set up and then dig back up by the person who put it there? I feel like, in the history of time capsules, this has happened. And in the history of Internet time capsules, I'm sure this has happened as well. And I guess it's going to happen again because goodness gracious, if I haven't been full of words these days.
The tricky thing about words is that there are only so many times they can be said verbally. Eventually, people get tired of hearing them, even if you're not done talking. I think that might be because the words want to be immortalized. They want a permanency that you just can't get from talking, no matter how many times you say the words.
I think it's been a little over a year since I've been to this space. I remember it because I wrote it but I also cringe at it. Hard. It will take heaping sets of blog posts to talk about what happened this past year. It'll take more vulnerability than I currently possess to actually put it out there.
It might be ironic but for someone who has started so many personal blogs, I actually don't really like being vulnerable. I hate putting myself out there. It's why I struggle so much with making friends these days. I need constant affirmation. "Yes, Ally, I want to be my friend." "Girl, you're so cool. Let's be besties." Anything other than that and I'm in this gray area where I don't know where I stand and every emotion and story I share takes so much courage, it leaves me drained.
For all the folks at home wondering why I'm not seeking professional help because holy moly, does that sound crazy, rest easy. I am. But writing is a part of that growing process. No matter how much I wish every friendship could be an instant thing where you're best friends who share everything, that's not a real thing. Except on the Internet. Or I guess more specifically, in a blog.
Y'all are, at the moment of this writing, not my best friends. But I guess you're about to be. Last chance to opt out. Scroll on over to that 'X' in the corner.
Now it's too late. Hey, bestie!
The tricky thing about words is that there are only so many times they can be said verbally. Eventually, people get tired of hearing them, even if you're not done talking. I think that might be because the words want to be immortalized. They want a permanency that you just can't get from talking, no matter how many times you say the words.
I think it's been a little over a year since I've been to this space. I remember it because I wrote it but I also cringe at it. Hard. It will take heaping sets of blog posts to talk about what happened this past year. It'll take more vulnerability than I currently possess to actually put it out there.
It might be ironic but for someone who has started so many personal blogs, I actually don't really like being vulnerable. I hate putting myself out there. It's why I struggle so much with making friends these days. I need constant affirmation. "Yes, Ally, I want to be my friend." "Girl, you're so cool. Let's be besties." Anything other than that and I'm in this gray area where I don't know where I stand and every emotion and story I share takes so much courage, it leaves me drained.
For all the folks at home wondering why I'm not seeking professional help because holy moly, does that sound crazy, rest easy. I am. But writing is a part of that growing process. No matter how much I wish every friendship could be an instant thing where you're best friends who share everything, that's not a real thing. Except on the Internet. Or I guess more specifically, in a blog.
Y'all are, at the moment of this writing, not my best friends. But I guess you're about to be. Last chance to opt out. Scroll on over to that 'X' in the corner.
Now it's too late. Hey, bestie!
Engaged!
On August 7th, J and I celebrated our 7th year anniversary. Or at least, we were supposed to but one of his closest friends from high school was having a destination bachelor party that weekend and wouldn't budge on the date. Figuring we'd have more anniversaries and knowing I'd want some understanding if the roles were reversed, I pitched a fit and demanded 7 days of celebration when he came back to make up for the missed day.
I was partially kidding (like 99% kidding. I was fine with just going out to dinner) but he liked the idea and agreed. Starting that Monday, we had celebrations each day. Monday was a breakfast-for-dinner celebration. Tuesday, he surprised me with flowers and a candlelit dinner. Wednesday we were supposed to go to the park but J got food poisoning. Thursday, we went to our favorite park.Friday we went to see a special light exhibit at the museum. I found out later he was going to propose there but was thwarted by a 3rd person who ran into the exhibit at the last minute!
 |
| Tuesday |
 |
| Wednesday |
 |
| Friday Not pictured: Thursday pajama party |
When we got out, we drove to lunch and passed these beautiful gardens. He suggested we go out after lunch and I agreed despite it being about 1000 degrees outside. We ate at a place with gigantic portions sizes and accidentally ordered way too much food. We laughed and ate as much as we could before admitting defeat and driving over to the gardens.
As soon as we got there, I knew something was up. He was being weirdly quiet and rushing us through some of the most beautiful parts of the garden. I followed along at his pace and we headed towards the hill that was sort of the centerpiece of the gardens. I'm going to interject here and remind ya'll it was A THOUSAND DEGREES out and the last thing I wanted to do was walk round and round to the top of the hill but J insisted so I said, "Fine."
He held my hand (despite the weather) and we talked about how the past 7 years had been for us. We stopped at every waterfall along the way to cool off and looked out over the gardens. When we got to the top, there was only another pair of friends there and they left as soon as we got there. I sat on the front bench and looked out at the gardens. He tried to squeeze next to me but there really wasn't space for 2. We took a picture and then he got up. He told me I should move to another bench that had '100 years' engraved on it. In the 2 seconds it took me to sit down, he had knelt down and pulled out the ring box. He was sweating bullets, was uncharacteristically flustered and barely got out "Ally, will you marry me?" without a stutter.
I always thought I'd know how I'd react in this kind of situation but apparently, I don't really know myself. Instead of answering, I grabbed his head and stared at him. I don't know for how long but eventually he said, "Is that a yes?"
I nodded, he put the ring on my finger and I grabbed his head again because I couldn't stop staring at him. I know other people cry but I think I was in complete and total shock. As we walked back down the hill, I held his hand and let it sink in. By the time we were in the car, I was in full out maelstrom-of-emotion mode. There's really not a single word I can use to describe it. I was excited and nervous and jittery and elated and joyous and shocked and I cycled between all of those on a pretty quick basis. On the way home, we jammed out to a soundtrack of 90's Nelly.
Needless to say, it was perfect and kind of a relief to have it done! I was so nervous the weeks leading up to it. Since then, everything feels right and I can't really remember what I was so nervous about. Maybe it was the anticipation.
Bahhhhhhhh. Now comes all of the planning things (It's really amazing how quickly people start asking you about the wedding) and everything seems daunting. I keep reminding myself that it's one step at a time.
 |
| Centennial Gardens |
He held my hand (despite the weather) and we talked about how the past 7 years had been for us. We stopped at every waterfall along the way to cool off and looked out over the gardens. When we got to the top, there was only another pair of friends there and they left as soon as we got there. I sat on the front bench and looked out at the gardens. He tried to squeeze next to me but there really wasn't space for 2. We took a picture and then he got up. He told me I should move to another bench that had '100 years' engraved on it. In the 2 seconds it took me to sit down, he had knelt down and pulled out the ring box. He was sweating bullets, was uncharacteristically flustered and barely got out "Ally, will you marry me?" without a stutter.
I always thought I'd know how I'd react in this kind of situation but apparently, I don't really know myself. Instead of answering, I grabbed his head and stared at him. I don't know for how long but eventually he said, "Is that a yes?"
I nodded, he put the ring on my finger and I grabbed his head again because I couldn't stop staring at him. I know other people cry but I think I was in complete and total shock. As we walked back down the hill, I held his hand and let it sink in. By the time we were in the car, I was in full out maelstrom-of-emotion mode. There's really not a single word I can use to describe it. I was excited and nervous and jittery and elated and joyous and shocked and I cycled between all of those on a pretty quick basis. On the way home, we jammed out to a soundtrack of 90's Nelly.
Needless to say, it was perfect and kind of a relief to have it done! I was so nervous the weeks leading up to it. Since then, everything feels right and I can't really remember what I was so nervous about. Maybe it was the anticipation.
Bahhhhhhhh. Now comes all of the planning things (It's really amazing how quickly people start asking you about the wedding) and everything seems daunting. I keep reminding myself that it's one step at a time.
New Digs
 |
| Me trying to remember if there was one linen closet or two |
I am quickly discovering that I am the worst at making decisions. When it's deciding where to eat or what to put on my sandwich, my indecision usually isn't a super big deal because the effects are relatively minimal but now that I'm out in the world making adult decisions, it is ROUGH.
J and I put a deposit down on a place we're renting in June. It has backyard access which is perfect for the dogs and it's in a super convenient place for his school and my work. Sounds great, right? Except the minute I put my deposit down, I started having all of these thoughts like: Was it really big enough? Can we fit everything in it? Will we have enough furniture to fill it? What if it's secretly the worst? What if we end up wishing we had gone for the bigger place? What if the layout is too funky or the kitchen is too light and GAH. I am simultaneously so excited and nervous and second-guessing and looking forward.
Is this a normal thing? I feel like I need a name for this but I've been racking my over-worked brain and I'm just coming up short.
Logically, I know that I picked it for a reason and if it doesn't suit us for whatever reason, we can start the hunt over again in a year. It's not really the biggest decision to make but this is my first post-grad, gainfully-employed person apartment and for some reason, it feels like a really big deal.
Despite my tendency to overworry about everything, I am still excited. It's going to be nice to not have to drive an hour and a half to work! My car and my sanity are going to be so grateful. In the mean time, I'd love to hear any tips ya'll have for becoming better at decision-making! Because I'm getting the feeling this is going to be one of many.
The Ins and Outs of Being an Extra
While I was waiting for Bar results and without full-time employment, I picked up odd jobs to replenish my ever-depleting bank account. Being in Austin, there were a ton of opportunities for contract work that still gave me the opportunity to look for a full-time job. I don't know if I just hadn't noticed before or if it's been growing in recent years, but the film and television industry is taking (or has taken?) hold in Austin to the point where it's not impossible to find relatively common odd jobs. Be it crew, cast, or something in between, these film and television companies are waiting with open arms to feed you and pay you.
Over the past few months, I had the chance to get pretty regular work as an extra for ABC's American Crime. I got to meet incredible incredible people who are all out there hustling and making their dreams come true. I got to meet such talented cast and crew who's vision makes this unbelievable thing possible. And mostly, I got to get dolled up as a high school student and do completely random things I wouldn't get to do in normal life.
I know that before I started doing this time of work, I literally never noticed the people in the background. I never wondered how they got there. But it turns out, it's pretty easy. Basically....
You find a casting agency in your area. I think there's like, 4 or 5 in Austin and I know that there's an equally as strong if not stronger market in areas like Atlanta, New York City, LA (obvs), and Nashville. You can find them on Facebook most of the time and they'll post casting notices there. (Just make sure they're legit! Look at what type of projects they've had before and if you can, find people who have worked with them.)
If you look like what they're looking for, you submit your picture and contact information and wait. Most of the time, they'll get back to you in a few days and send you the call time, location, and any clothes they might need you to bring.
So you show up and on most major projects, you get a bomb breakfast buffet. Then you get sent to wardrobe. They inspect the outfits you brought and in my case, scrunch their noses and ask if I brought anything else. When I say "no," they roll out these big racks of clothes and I try things on until I/they stumble into the right outfit. Then hair and makeup.
Depending on the project, they might trust you to do your own. But if it's a period piece (Like this one J and I did!), they'll spend hours working on your hair and makeup. If it seems like this would be a super time consuming process, it is. Especially for the larger scenes where maybe 50-100 people are all lined up for their turn.
When you've been satisfactorily spruced up, you get sent to set! Sometimes you get to walk, but most times, you end up riding in unmarked white vans (super alarming the first time).
Set is a very quiet, chaotic place with about a million people trying to get their piece of the project just right. An Assistant Director puts you in a place, gives you an action and sometimes even an entire back story for your character. Again, if this sounds like a ridiculous extent to go to for the people who literally just stand in the background, it is. It is but I guess it works. Extras, as far as I've seen, take their work seriously. Partially because we sign a contract that says we will, partially because some want to become actors, and partially because we don't want to be that one person who messes it all up for everyone.
When "Background" then "Action" is called, we start doing our thing. Sometimes we do our thing for hours and hours and hours. Then we move to another scene. Sometimes we do our thing in buildings without AC or at 1 in the morning while we pretend it's really noon. Sometimes we do our thing bundled in winter clothing when it's 90 degrees outside or alternatively, in summer clothing when it's 30 degrees outside. But each time, it's a blast. It's almost as if that day's wrap makes you forget all of the annoying parts.
Over the past few months, I had the chance to get pretty regular work as an extra for ABC's American Crime. I got to meet incredible incredible people who are all out there hustling and making their dreams come true. I got to meet such talented cast and crew who's vision makes this unbelievable thing possible. And mostly, I got to get dolled up as a high school student and do completely random things I wouldn't get to do in normal life.
I know that before I started doing this time of work, I literally never noticed the people in the background. I never wondered how they got there. But it turns out, it's pretty easy. Basically....
You find a casting agency in your area. I think there's like, 4 or 5 in Austin and I know that there's an equally as strong if not stronger market in areas like Atlanta, New York City, LA (obvs), and Nashville. You can find them on Facebook most of the time and they'll post casting notices there. (Just make sure they're legit! Look at what type of projects they've had before and if you can, find people who have worked with them.)
 |
| Sample legit casting notice from a casting agency in Austin |
So you show up and on most major projects, you get a bomb breakfast buffet. Then you get sent to wardrobe. They inspect the outfits you brought and in my case, scrunch their noses and ask if I brought anything else. When I say "no," they roll out these big racks of clothes and I try things on until I/they stumble into the right outfit. Then hair and makeup.
Depending on the project, they might trust you to do your own. But if it's a period piece (Like this one J and I did!), they'll spend hours working on your hair and makeup. If it seems like this would be a super time consuming process, it is. Especially for the larger scenes where maybe 50-100 people are all lined up for their turn.
When you've been satisfactorily spruced up, you get sent to set! Sometimes you get to walk, but most times, you end up riding in unmarked white vans (super alarming the first time).
Set is a very quiet, chaotic place with about a million people trying to get their piece of the project just right. An Assistant Director puts you in a place, gives you an action and sometimes even an entire back story for your character. Again, if this sounds like a ridiculous extent to go to for the people who literally just stand in the background, it is. It is but I guess it works. Extras, as far as I've seen, take their work seriously. Partially because we sign a contract that says we will, partially because some want to become actors, and partially because we don't want to be that one person who messes it all up for everyone.
When "Background" then "Action" is called, we start doing our thing. Sometimes we do our thing for hours and hours and hours. Then we move to another scene. Sometimes we do our thing in buildings without AC or at 1 in the morning while we pretend it's really noon. Sometimes we do our thing bundled in winter clothing when it's 90 degrees outside or alternatively, in summer clothing when it's 30 degrees outside. But each time, it's a blast. It's almost as if that day's wrap makes you forget all of the annoying parts.
What Happens Next
The omission of the question mark was totally intentional. This post and the ones that'll follow are about what happens next. The 2016 chapter. So much has happened since the last time I updated ya'll. For a quick rundown:
- I studied for the bar. It was BRUTAL.
- I retook the bar.
- I PASSED THE BAR!
- I got a job in Houston...
- .... so I moved.
- I found an apartment here, too!
- My foster fail was diagnosed with heartworms from the Time Before I Got Her
- My old man dog was given a clean bill of health
- I started adulting full time again
And here we are. It doesn't seem like much now that I've typed it out but living through it seemed cataclysmic. Then again, most things do at the time they're happening.
Now that my detour is over and now that I have gotten just the tiniest bit of free time back, I'd love to pick this story back up again, if only so that I can remember these stories farther down the road and so that I might be able to find other people who are going through similar things, too.
I'd also be lying if I said I didn't have a small blogging identity crisis over the last few months, too. I admire people who treat blogging as a business but for me, this was always meant to be a personal thing so being inundated with ads and reminders that I needed to increase my traffic or join the right affiliate program was exhausting. And the "Exhausted" field of my life is already full.
I guess this is a new start for me and this tiny space then. I'm so, so excited for what happens next.
(A)Part
I've been lucky enough to find great groups of friends in every stage of life. High school, college, and law school have blessed me with friendships that have proved to grow stronger with time. This past week, I got to spend a few days with my high school, college, and law school friends and it was absolutely wonderful. It was the perfect antidote to months of holed-up studying and a perfect distraction for my tendency to stress. But each time we said goodbye, we were faced with the reality that we didn't know when or where we'd see each other again. And here's another pro and con. Pro: we don't know where we'll meet again. We could meet anywhere. Maybe another wedding. Maybe a city we've always wanted to visit. Con: We don't know when we'll meet again. Maybe in a few weeks or maybe in a few years. It's difficult to tell.
I found this quote that perfectly sums up the experience that I'm sure is not unique to me.
One of the greatest blessings of being young is that everyone you loved tended to live in a pretty small, geographical radius. Friends were either at school every day or 10 minutes away. Hanging out was a natural consequence of receiving an education. In college, it was a little harder. Some people went out of state but for me, most of my friends stayed close. They were either on my campus or an hour away which, when you're in college, feels like nothing when you're itching for an excuse to road trip.
Each step of my schooling has gone similarly until now, when the schooling is (mercifully) over. While my bar exam-taking, job-searching self has plenty of things to do, living close to old friends is not one of them. Hanging out now takes time. Requesting time off work or driving a few hours. Prepping pups or children for roadtrips or finding alternate care. It's definitely possible but it's not as easy.
And in the grand scheme of thing, this uncertainty is a small price to pay for the privilege of knowing these amazing women. Still, it'd be nice if for a few weeks at least, everyone could live in the same small town again, sharing gossip over caramel macchiatos and occasionally skipping class.
I found this quote that perfectly sums up the experience that I'm sure is not unique to me.
One of the greatest blessings of being young is that everyone you loved tended to live in a pretty small, geographical radius. Friends were either at school every day or 10 minutes away. Hanging out was a natural consequence of receiving an education. In college, it was a little harder. Some people went out of state but for me, most of my friends stayed close. They were either on my campus or an hour away which, when you're in college, feels like nothing when you're itching for an excuse to road trip.
Each step of my schooling has gone similarly until now, when the schooling is (mercifully) over. While my bar exam-taking, job-searching self has plenty of things to do, living close to old friends is not one of them. Hanging out now takes time. Requesting time off work or driving a few hours. Prepping pups or children for roadtrips or finding alternate care. It's definitely possible but it's not as easy.
And in the grand scheme of thing, this uncertainty is a small price to pay for the privilege of knowing these amazing women. Still, it'd be nice if for a few weeks at least, everyone could live in the same small town again, sharing gossip over caramel macchiatos and occasionally skipping class.
The Wait Begins
A little less than 4 months, this detour started. For four months, I worked. I stressed and read until it was finally time to take the test. Like last time, there was lots of stress, lots of reading, lots of neglecting TV shows I wanted to watch. Now it's the waiting part. Sitting. Looking for a job and trying not to replay the exam over and over and dwell on what went right and what went wrong.
That's the problem with a lot of time. It can either be a good time or a bad time, depending on your mood and what you make of it. This morning, I read this on Humans of New York:
I think that's the perfect way to look at the next few days, weeks, or however long this time off lasts.
That's the problem with a lot of time. It can either be a good time or a bad time, depending on your mood and what you make of it. This morning, I read this on Humans of New York:
"Time off is a space where you allow things to happen other than the known.”
I think that's the perfect way to look at the next few days, weeks, or however long this time off lasts.
Happy New Year!
I know it's a few days late but I wanted to pop in and say- Happy New Year! The past few months have been hectic and there's still 2 more until the February Bar rolls around. The only good part is that I know what the next two months will hold: sitting, studying, occasional trips to the dog park, and more studying. Not exactly the most glamorous life but this needs to be the last time I take it so it's all systems go!
Luckily though, the past few months have been plenty exciting enough to keep me sated for a while.
My family and I went to go see my sister's school play in the Peach Bowl (in an RV):
I did some recurring background work for American Crime (catch it January 6, 9 pm CST on ABC!):
I saw a disturbingly large chicken fried steak:
We celebrated Christmas:
And of course, the new Star Wars:
I'm thankful for the unexpected break that the past few months have been. Sometimes you don't get what you want so that you can get what you need. For me, it's Study Central until February and I hope I'll have good news to report to you all! I hope everyone's had a good 2016 so far!
Luckily though, the past few months have been plenty exciting enough to keep me sated for a while.
My family and I went to go see my sister's school play in the Peach Bowl (in an RV):
I did some recurring background work for American Crime (catch it January 6, 9 pm CST on ABC!):
I saw a disturbingly large chicken fried steak:
We celebrated Christmas:
And of course, the new Star Wars:
I'm thankful for the unexpected break that the past few months have been. Sometimes you don't get what you want so that you can get what you need. For me, it's Study Central until February and I hope I'll have good news to report to you all! I hope everyone's had a good 2016 so far!
A Brief Weekly Recap
Sorry for the radio silence the past week! I took some time off to spend with family and friends and to regroup. Sometimes, a brain break is just what the doctor ordered. I do want to say thank you for all of the words of encouragement you guys sent last week! I feel about a million times better this week which is just as well since things are about to get busy. With interviews, studying, a return to consistent posting and the holidays coming up, I need to bring my A game.
I haven't really focused on taking pictures past week, but I got some good ones to recap the week. I got to spend some time with my pups and J. Here's Keller in his new orthopedic bed:
celebrated a belated birthday lunch
Spent even more time eating outdoors
And generally, just tried to focus on the beauty of fall since it's my favorite season and I feel like it's already halfway over. How is Thanksgiving already next week?? I hope everyone had a great weekend!
I haven't really focused on taking pictures past week, but I got some good ones to recap the week. I got to spend some time with my pups and J. Here's Keller in his new orthopedic bed:
I got to go to a tailgate with my family and stuff my face with way too much food. (Side note- they won! My team, not so much)
Spent even more time eating outdoors
And generally, just tried to focus on the beauty of fall since it's my favorite season and I feel like it's already halfway over. How is Thanksgiving already next week?? I hope everyone had a great weekend!
The Other Side of Failure
My whole life, I've been a planner. I've always gone from Point A to Point B knowing exactly how I'm going to get there and exactly what I'm going to do there. Up until now, my plans have never suffered a major setback. Up until now, I've been lucky enough to never have been derailed so completely. I'm no longer qualified for my job, the one I had the interview for. I can't do many law-related things but clerk and volunteer until the second bite at the apple comes in February.
I've never not had a plan. I've never started from scratch. There is so much freedom, it's a bit overwhelming. This is a brand new experience and in a very strange, very tiny way, I'm kind of thankful. I haven't stopped going since the 10th grade. Not for a single season. It's been school, study, work, volunteer every day leading up until now. And now, I'm (and I know it sounds strange to say) blessed with plan-free time. Everything from this point on is unknowable and I am excited and frightened at the thought.
The only things I know for sure are:
- This is surviveable and
- I will have to be ready come February
Beyond that, everything is a blank page. And I'm not completely sure that's the worst thing.
"The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won."
Halloween Recap
J and I take Halloween costumes very seriously. We start brainstorming months in advance and he uses the time to put together the perfect costume (while I usually end up waiting until the last minute. Oops). Last year, we did Gamora and Star Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy. It was awesome but it took about 3 days for the green to wash off completely, so my only requirement was that body paint would not be required this year.
Luckily, Star Wars came to the rescue! We bounced between characters for a while but we ultimately decided on Luke and Darth Vader!
J ordered a full costume weeks in advance. He tricked himself out with a lightsaber attached to his equipment belt via carabiner. I like to put together costumes with pieces of regular clothes and Forever 21 stepped in with a leather dress with chunky pockets and a thick, lined belt. I found gauntlets, knee high socks. The only 'costumey' things were the mask and cloak.
We went to a friend's party where we found more of our posse...
... various villains, a skunk, and a ghost!
Halloween was a blast and I guess sometime in the next few weeks, J's going to start with the Halloween brainstorm for next year. First though, I have to deal with this monster of a week. Bar results come out on Thursday and I'm already a mess, so if you don't hear from me between now and then, you know why! At this point, my life feels like it's sort of divided between now and after Thursday. My job prospects, my apartment situation all depend on that one day. It's kind of a lot to take in. But I'm taking it one day at a time, because what else can you do?
I hope everyone had a great weekend!
Luckily, Star Wars came to the rescue! We bounced between characters for a while but we ultimately decided on Luke and Darth Vader!
J ordered a full costume weeks in advance. He tricked himself out with a lightsaber attached to his equipment belt via carabiner. I like to put together costumes with pieces of regular clothes and Forever 21 stepped in with a leather dress with chunky pockets and a thick, lined belt. I found gauntlets, knee high socks. The only 'costumey' things were the mask and cloak.
We went to a friend's party where we found more of our posse...
... various villains, a skunk, and a ghost!
Halloween was a blast and I guess sometime in the next few weeks, J's going to start with the Halloween brainstorm for next year. First though, I have to deal with this monster of a week. Bar results come out on Thursday and I'm already a mess, so if you don't hear from me between now and then, you know why! At this point, my life feels like it's sort of divided between now and after Thursday. My job prospects, my apartment situation all depend on that one day. It's kind of a lot to take in. But I'm taking it one day at a time, because what else can you do?
I hope everyone had a great weekend!
How to Work When You're Sick
So this past weekend, one of two things happened. Either the rain blew in some unbelievably awful allergen or J gave me his disease but either way, I ended Sunday night with a sore throat and by Monday, I was a mess. Sneezing, coughing, stuffy (and also somehow runny?) nose, the whole shebang. I was in denial for most of Monday but by Tuesday morning, it was undeniable: I was sick.
I'm pretty sure it was allergies but that didn't give me a while lot of confidence that I was capable of reading, much less higher level thinking. I also had my interview, which was somewhat time sensitive, which I really wanted to ace. During my lunch break, I took to the Internet and searched through no less than fifty columns about how to work while sick. I polled co-workers. I asked strangers in the hall. Here's the best advice I found:
1. Ginger root tea. It sounds (and tastes) pretty awful but it makes you sound infinitely less congested. I added grated fresh ginger, honey, and lemon to boiling hot water and I drank it. I almost stopped but the thought of sounding like a walking sinus infection kept me pushing through to the bottom of the glass and you know what? I not only sounded less congested but I felt like it too!
2. Or any tea, really. The caffeine is a welcome boost and the hot water is so soothing on the throat. Plus, I read just about everywhere that breathing in steam opens up your sinuses.
3. Pack your meds. If you take medicine, pack it. Especially if it's the kind you take every 4 hours. You'll want it every 4 hours. Trust me.
4. Hydrate. This one may seem obvious since just about every website out there says it, but I went through 3 Camelbaks full of water a day when I was feeling terrible. Plus, everyone kept telling me to drink water so there must be truth to that statement.
5. Eat, even if you don't want to. When I'm sick, I tend to lose my appetite but low blood sugar isn't going to do my any favors. I usually stick to mild to bland flavors (like warm soup or a grilled cheese).
6. Concealer and blush are your best friends. When I told my sister I was going to have to go to an interview with high octane allergies, her response was, "Make sure you wear a lot of makeup." And it's truly amazing the difference good makeup application can make. Tinted moisturizer, concealer, and blush took my pale, sunken cheeks and the dark circles into my eye into the picture of health. Plus people stopped asking me if I was sick, so that was nice.
7. Use Vaseline generously. My work doesn't have the softest tissues (like, they don't spring for the ones with aloe. I don't usually either, so I don't blame them) which meant that after a day of blowing my nose consistently, I'd chafed it red. It wasn't a good look. Ever since I was little, my mom taught me that the best quick-fix for ultra dry skin was vaseline. Before bed, I put some under my nose and on my lips and woke up chafed-skin-free!
I hope you guys have immune systems of steel and never have to deal with things as annoying as allergies or cold, but if you do, I hope these tips help!
Good Vibes
I've always been a big believer in good vibes. That you get out of the universe what you put into it. Ever since I was in high school, I'd let cars into my lane when I wasn't in a hurry and I resisted the urge to honk when someone did something silly because it was my hope that I was earning one entry into a lane at the last minute or a not-honk when I deserved one. It seems kind of silly typing it out now but I like to think that there's a sort of balance to it all.
The reason I'm rambling on about my world view is because I could really use some good vibes from you guys this week. I'm currently finishing up a fellowship at a job I love and I just learned that they're hiring a full-time position for the same exact job. Because it's government-affiliated, they have to go through all of the proper procedures but my supervisor suggested that I apply and I figured, why the heck not? Now my interview is today and I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed it goes well!
In the mean time though, I'll be a nervous wreck since I get the joy of watching the applications roll in plus I'll be watching applicants stroll in and out of their interviews. I've never been in quite this situation before but if anyone has some insight, I would really appreciate it!
Happy Tuesday and wish me luck!
The reason I'm rambling on about my world view is because I could really use some good vibes from you guys this week. I'm currently finishing up a fellowship at a job I love and I just learned that they're hiring a full-time position for the same exact job. Because it's government-affiliated, they have to go through all of the proper procedures but my supervisor suggested that I apply and I figured, why the heck not? Now my interview is today and I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed it goes well!
In the mean time though, I'll be a nervous wreck since I get the joy of watching the applications roll in plus I'll be watching applicants stroll in and out of their interviews. I've never been in quite this situation before but if anyone has some insight, I would really appreciate it!
Happy Tuesday and wish me luck!
 |
| Etsy |
A Rainy Weekend Recap
This weekend managed to be a success despite the fact that it started raining Friday night and literally did not stop until Sunday morning. Some of my best friends (and sister) came in from out of town and we hit up the Panic Room (again by popular demand) and it was just as fun as it was the last time. We did the "Bomb Room" this time which meant we had one hour to find the "bomb" and escape the room. Somehow, we managed to do it in 47 minutes. I genuinely have no idea how we got out so fast but it made us feel brainy and successful all at once!
Plus, finishing a bit early wasn't a problem since we had dinner reservations to get to. Given all of our new free time, we decided to walk the few blocks and rehash our greatest moments. Does anyone else ever do that? Start talking about an experience almost as soon as it's over? I've always been a big "Instant Replay" kind of person and luckily, so were most of us.
For dinner, we were trying a new (to us) place called Arro. It's on West 6th Street which meant that the white, non-descript building was surrounded by bumping, music-filled places. The energy seemed to transfer inside and it was wonderful. The whole place was filled with great music and conversation, cheeses and tons of wine.
Arro, which bills itself as a French restaurant, definitely follows the French method of dining. There was a healthy amount of time between the drinks, the cheeses, the entrees, and the dessert and that was just fine by me. It as nice having time to catch up with people I hadn't seen for a while and nibble on different cheeses and a ton of bread. (I have a thing for carbs). Plus, it took us a super long time to decide what we wanted to order. Once we did decide though, it seemed like we all ordered the same thing.
I guess I don't really wonder why. The steak (and fries!) were delicious. It didn't dawn on us until the plates were cleaned that we probably should have ordered different entrees so that we could try more of the menu, but I don't think we had any regrets.
Finally, we wrapped it up with a tiny profiterole filled with the best (and only) hazelnut ice cream I have ever had.
J and I slept in the next morning then eventually ventured out to see The Martian. It was so good! Even though I'm starting to think more and more that space movies stress me out.
Have any of you guys see it? Any thoughts? I've been meaning to read the book so hopefully I'll get back to you guys about that soon! How were your weekends? Hopefully the weather was a little more cooperative!
Linking up with Her Heartland Soul for the weekend roundup!
Fan of Fridays Vol. 3
Happy Friday, everyone! I can't believe we're almost at the end of October. It's mind-blowing how fast this month has gone by but we've still got one good week left! This week's highlights were/are:
1. Birthdays! It's my birthday today and while generally I wouldn't make too huge a deal out of it, some of my best friends from undergrad and high school are coming into town and I'm so excited to see them. Now that we all live in different towns, reunions come few and far between so I'm especially grateful for when they happen!
2. On that note, I found this article on how friendship changes during adulthood super interesting. Every few years or so, I end up moving and it has a noticeable impact on my friendships. Not necessarily in a bad way, but it's a change nonetheless. [Also, in the event anyone is interested in Royal happenings like I occasionally am, this article is worth a read!]
3. The Day Designer hype. I'm a huge planner nerd and ordered my first Day Designer during the presale this week! If you're interested, today's the last day to pre-order and get a fun pack of stickers with your order! If you're a daily planning/list making fanatic, I'd highly recommend this one.
4. Star Wars. I have been a Star Wars fan for as long as I can remember. It was one of the first movies I watched with my dad so not only was it a great bonding experience but a chance for him to instill his fandom in me. I guess it worked because I have been obsessing over the trailer all week! Bah! So excited for opening night!
5. I feel like my blog feed is full of about a million topics and I absolutely love it. Angela from the Sunday Chapter has great advice about fighting anxiety, Eliza talks about picking the proper primer, and May is doing a cool introduction series accompanied by serious gorgeous pictures.
Hope everyone's weekend is A+ :)
The Weekly Happy Hour: Parkside
I just wanted to thank you guys for your supportive comments on the 'What's the Point of Blogging?' post. Like a lot of you guys, I resist the idea of blogging being 'dead' because I resist the idea of losing this space where I can talk about important things and also, fun but probably less important things (in the grand scheme of the world). Even though, I'm not sure that spending time with friends is ever unimportant. Goodness knows I would go crazy without midweek socialization.
This week, it was my turn to pick the happy hour and because I missed last week, I was eager to hit the ground running. The website for Parkside immediately drew me in. Fries? Cheeseburger? Mac and Cheese?? It seems like the perfect, warm place to take refuge on this dreary, almost rainy day.
This week, it was my turn to pick the happy hour and because I missed last week, I was eager to hit the ground running. The website for Parkside immediately drew me in. Fries? Cheeseburger? Mac and Cheese?? It seems like the perfect, warm place to take refuge on this dreary, almost rainy day.
Park side is on Dirty 6th, a place I'd been a thousand times before but I'd never noticed the little restaurant tucked away on the corner. At 5:30, the place was already popping and the atmosphere was fun and Friday-esque.
I got a drink that was part strawberry Stoli, part champagne and part sugar and it was so, so good. For most of my of-drinking-age life, I've tended to stick with the same things so it's a nice change of pace trying drinks I wouldn't have otherwise tried.
Having been put on notice that there would be cheeseburgers, I tried to eat healthy during the day which meant I was starving when I got there. I got the cheeseburger, Karlz got the fried egg sandwich and Ferj got the ceviche and it was all so tasty. The fries were those crispy, wonderfully salty kind and were served with a garlic aioli. It was the perfect offset to the sweetness of the drink. Like, I'll be honest, I wish I was eating it right now.
We were tucked in a corner booth and it was the perfect place to talk about our jobs, the holidays and the very real stress of waiting for Bar results.
I'd definitely come back with friends, with J, or even with a good book. Such a delicious, well-priced and centrally located place! Plus happy hour, which runs till 6:30 is half price off of cocktails, beer and the bar menu!
Like with all happy hours, I was sad to see it end but I did see this really strange thing outside of Roppollo's, a drunken night out institution on 6th. Not surprisingly, there was a massive line of people waiting to take a picture with it. Oh, Austin.
Here's to hoping the rest of the week flies by!
Overall rating: 4/5
What's the Point of Blogging?
It came as kind of a blow to me. My first thought was, "But no! I'm just now starting to meet these super interesting people and I love reading about the things that are important to them." I'd be pretty bummed if all of the blogs I read just up and vanished. Where else do you see people talking so openly and passionately about the things that matter to them?
Then I thought, maybe some kinds of blogging are dead but community-based and community-minded blogging isn't. And hopefully it never will be. I have met so many people from all over the world I know I wouldn't have met otherwise through this blog. On a daily basis, I get to learn about how lives are across the oceans. I see coats and shoes I might have missed in my own online shopping. I learn crafts. I pick up recipes. Having access to blogs is like having access to a repository of people who know things and who like sharing what they know. And that's awesome.
I know blogging is sometimes likened to shouting, "Hey look at me! Look at what I have to say!" to which I respond, what's wrong with that? What piece of literature out there exists for a purpose other than "Hey look at me! Look at what I have to say!" Even the seminal works like Frankenstein, 1984, and Great Expectations exist because someone had something to say.* Writing is writing. Ideas are ideas. And yeah, maybe some blogs are up to their metaphorical eyeballs in RStyle links or are so carefully curated, they give the Louvre a run for its money, but again, so what? Issues of non-disclosure, tax, etc. aside, it's just a more prettily packaged Amazon and I, for one, really like Amazon.
And this whole train of thought got me thinking: why do I blog? Why put in the effort day in and day out for what essentially amounts to an Internet window display? Part of it is because I like to write. I like sitting down at the end of the day and verbalizing how things went. I like to put down on (virtual) paper the things that do and don't make me happy at this very moment in time. It helps me make sense of myself and the world around me. The other part of it is that I like a ton of things. I like TV shows, movies, books, shoes, makeup and recipes and I love meeting other people who love those things, too.
On that note, I know I follow a lot of you already, but if I don't, I'd love it if you'd drop me a link so that I can see what you have to say. And I want to thank you guys for taking the time out of your day for reading what I have to say. Writing can be a very solitary thing and blogging makes it just a little less so.
*Totally not comparing blogs to 1984, just trying to make the point that writing is writing, no matter the form.
Survey of Fall TV
So I was down with some funky bug this past week which meant that my productivity took a nosedive but my TV watching increased exponentially. For most of the evenings, I posted up on the sofa with a big fleece blanket and the pups and caught up on a ton of shows that came out this fall.
I know this show gets flack sometimes because it went through a decidedly unfunny period but the end of last season and the beginning of this season (so far) are as good as the series in its prime! Besides, truthfully, I never stopped loving this show. I've got a thing for crazy, quirky families.
I'm admittedly a BBC fan girl and have been watching the Doctor Who reboot for a few years now. I found the first few seasons on Netflix and it's spiraled into the obsession it is today. I love how sassy this new Doctor is though this season has sort of thrown me for a loop. I have faith in Peter Capaldi, though. You show those aliens who's boss!
GUYS. This show. In the spring, I went through a rough time and my friends decided I needed a distraction. Enter Empire. It was perfect because it was out-of-this-world dramatic and addicting at the same time. Season 2 has not disappointed. Plus the songs are pretty catchy, too!
Another accidentally-found-it-on-Hulu-now-I've-finished-the-season-what-is-life type shows. It's hilarious and adorable :) A rare combination for the CW. 10/10
I still need to catch up on the last season, so I haven't started watching this one, but the need to know what is happening with the great Olivia Pope is eating at me. For those of you who have seen this season so far, how is it??
Shows I'm Keeping Tabs On:
Heroes Reborn, Scream Queens, and Fresh off the Boat. I'm planning on catching up (or starting in some cases) on these as soon as more free time opens up.
Let me know if you have any other suggestions to add to my TV watching queue! I'm always on the lookout for new shows to take on :)
Overall impressions:
Another accidentally-found-it-on-Hulu-now-I've-finished-the-season-what-is-life type shows. It's hilarious and adorable :) A rare combination for the CW. 10/10
Shows I'm Keeping Tabs On:
Heroes Reborn, Scream Queens, and Fresh off the Boat. I'm planning on catching up (or starting in some cases) on these as soon as more free time opens up.
Let me know if you have any other suggestions to add to my TV watching queue! I'm always on the lookout for new shows to take on :)
