The Other Side of Failure

As you can probably guess from the title, I didn't pass. Even typing it out now, it doesn't fully feel real. There's a whirlwind of emotions going through my head but a stand out among them is the heady realization that I don't know what comes next.

My whole life, I've been a planner. I've always gone from Point A to Point B knowing exactly how I'm going to get there and exactly what I'm going to do there. Up until now, my plans have never suffered a major setback. Up until now, I've been lucky enough to never have been derailed so completely. I'm no longer qualified for my job, the one I had the interview for. I can't do many law-related things but clerk and volunteer until the second bite at the apple comes in February.

I've never not had a plan. I've never started from scratch. There is so much freedom, it's a bit overwhelming. This is a brand new experience and in a very strange, very tiny way, I'm kind of thankful. I haven't stopped going since the 10th grade. Not for a single season. It's been school, study, work, volunteer every day leading up until now. And now, I'm (and I know it sounds strange to say) blessed with plan-free time. Everything from this point on is unknowable and I am excited and frightened at the thought.

The only things I know for sure are:

• This is surviveable and
• I will have to be ready come February

Beyond that, everything is a blank page. And I'm not completely sure that's the worst thing.

"The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won."

Halloween Recap

J and I take Halloween costumes very seriously. We start brainstorming months in advance and he uses the time to put together the perfect costume (while I usually end up waiting until the last minute. Oops). Last year, we did Gamora and Star Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy. It was awesome but it took about 3 days for the green to wash off completely, so my only requirement was that body paint would not be required this year.

Luckily, Star Wars came to the rescue! We bounced between characters for a while but we ultimately decided on Luke and Darth Vader!

J ordered a full costume weeks in advance. He tricked himself out with a lightsaber attached to his equipment belt via carabiner. I like to put together costumes with pieces of regular clothes and Forever 21 stepped in with a leather dress with chunky pockets and a thick, lined belt. I found gauntlets, knee high socks. The only 'costumey' things were the mask and cloak.

We went to a friend's party where we found more of our posse...

... various villains, a skunk, and a ghost!

Halloween was a blast and I guess sometime in the next few weeks, J's going to start with the Halloween brainstorm for next year. First though, I have to deal with this monster of a week. Bar results come out on Thursday and I'm already a mess, so if you don't hear from me between now and then, you know why! At this point, my life feels like it's sort of divided between now and after Thursday. My job prospects, my apartment situation all depend on that one day. It's kind of a lot to take in. But I'm taking it one day at a time, because what else can you do?

I hope everyone had a great weekend!

How to Work When You're Sick

So this past weekend, one of two things happened. Either the rain blew in some unbelievably awful allergen or J gave me his disease but either way, I ended Sunday night with a sore throat and by Monday, I was a mess. Sneezing, coughing, stuffy (and also somehow runny?) nose, the whole shebang. I was in denial for most of Monday but by Tuesday morning, it was undeniable: I was sick.

I'm pretty sure it was allergies but that didn't give me a while lot of confidence that I was capable of reading, much less higher level thinking. I also had my interview, which was somewhat time sensitive, which I really wanted to ace. During my lunch break, I took to the Internet and searched through no less than fifty columns about how to work while sick. I polled co-workers. I asked strangers in the hall. Here's the best advice I found:


1. Ginger root tea. It sounds (and tastes) pretty awful but it makes you sound infinitely less congested. I added grated fresh ginger, honey, and lemon to boiling hot water and I drank it. I almost stopped but the thought of sounding like a walking sinus infection kept me pushing through to the bottom of the glass and you know what? I not only sounded less congested but I felt like it too!

2. Or any tea, really. The caffeine is a welcome boost and the hot water is so soothing on the throat. Plus, I read just about everywhere that breathing in steam opens up your sinuses.

3. Pack your meds. If you take medicine, pack it. Especially if it's the kind you take every 4 hours. You'll want it every 4 hours. Trust me.

4. Hydrate. This one may seem obvious since just about every website out there says it, but I went through 3 Camelbaks full of water a day when I was feeling terrible. Plus, everyone kept telling me to drink water so there must be truth to that statement.

5. Eat, even if you don't want to. When I'm sick, I tend to lose my appetite but low blood sugar isn't going to do my any favors. I usually stick to mild to bland flavors (like warm soup or a grilled cheese).

6. Concealer and blush are your best friends. When I told my sister I was going to have to go to an interview with high octane allergies, her response was, "Make sure you wear a lot of makeup." And it's truly amazing the difference good makeup application can make. Tinted moisturizer, concealer, and blush took my pale, sunken cheeks and the dark circles into my eye into the picture of health. Plus people stopped asking me if I was sick, so that was nice.

7. Use Vaseline generously. My work doesn't have the softest tissues (like, they don't spring for the ones with aloe. I don't usually either, so I don't blame them) which meant that after a day of blowing my nose consistently, I'd chafed it red. It wasn't a good look. Ever since I was little, my mom taught me that the best quick-fix for ultra dry skin was vaseline. Before bed, I put some under my nose and on my lips and woke up chafed-skin-free!

I hope you guys have immune systems of steel and never have to deal with things as annoying as allergies or cold, but if you do, I hope these tips help!

Good Vibes

I've always been a big believer in good vibes. That you get out of the universe what you put into it. Ever since I was in high school, I'd let cars into my lane when I wasn't in a hurry and I resisted the urge to honk when someone did something silly because it was my hope that I was earning one entry into a lane at the last minute or a not-honk when I deserved one. It seems kind of silly typing it out now but I like to think that there's a sort of balance to it all.

The reason I'm rambling on about my world view is because I could really use some good vibes from you guys this week. I'm currently finishing up a fellowship at a job I love and I just learned that they're hiring a full-time position for the same exact job. Because it's government-affiliated, they have to go through all of the proper procedures but my supervisor suggested that I apply and I figured, why the heck not? Now my interview is today and I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed it goes well!

In the mean time though, I'll be a nervous wreck since I get the joy of watching the applications roll in plus I'll be watching applicants stroll in and out of their interviews. I've never been in quite this situation before but if anyone has some insight, I would really appreciate it!

Happy Tuesday and wish me luck!

Etsy

A Rainy Weekend Recap

This weekend managed to be a success despite the fact that it started raining Friday night and literally did not stop until Sunday morning. Some of my best friends (and sister) came in from out of town and we hit up the Panic Room (again by popular demand) and it was just as fun as it was the last time. We did the "Bomb Room" this time which meant we had one hour to find the "bomb" and escape the room. Somehow, we managed to do it in 47 minutes. I genuinely have no idea how we got out so fast but it made us feel brainy and successful all at once! 

Plus, finishing a bit early wasn't a problem since we had dinner reservations to get to. Given all of our new free time, we decided to walk the few blocks and rehash our greatest moments. Does anyone else ever do that? Start talking about an experience almost as soon as it's over? I've always been a big "Instant Replay" kind of person and luckily, so were most of us. 

For dinner, we were trying a new (to us) place called Arro. It's on West 6th Street which meant that the white, non-descript building was surrounded by bumping, music-filled places. The energy seemed to transfer inside and it was wonderful. The whole place was filled with great music and conversation, cheeses and tons of wine. 

Arro, which bills itself as a French restaurant, definitely follows the French method of dining. There was a healthy amount of time between the drinks, the cheeses, the entrees, and the dessert and that was just fine by me. It as nice having time to catch up with people I hadn't seen for a while and nibble on different cheeses and a ton of bread. (I have a thing for carbs). Plus, it took us a super long time to decide what we wanted to order. Once we did decide though, it seemed like we all ordered the same thing.

I guess I don't really wonder why. The steak (and fries!) were delicious. It didn't dawn on us until the plates were cleaned that we probably should have ordered different entrees so that we could try more of the menu, but I don't think we had any regrets. 

Finally, we wrapped it up with a tiny profiterole filled with the best (and only) hazelnut ice cream I have ever had.

J and I slept in the next morning then eventually ventured out to see The Martian. It was so good! Even though I'm starting to think more and more that space movies stress me out. 

Have any of you guys see it? Any thoughts? I've been meaning to read the book so hopefully I'll get back to you guys about that soon! How were your weekends? Hopefully the weather was a little more cooperative!

Linking up with Her Heartland Soul for the weekend roundup!

Fan of Fridays Vol. 3

Happy Friday, everyone! I can't believe we're almost at the end of October. It's mind-blowing how fast this month has gone by but we've still got one good week left! This week's highlights were/are:

1. Birthdays! It's my birthday today and while generally I wouldn't make too huge a deal out of it, some of my best friends from undergrad and high school are coming into town and I'm so excited to see them. Now that we all live in different towns, reunions come few and far between so I'm especially grateful for when they happen!

2. On that note, I found this article on how friendship changes during adulthood super interesting. Every few years or so, I end up moving and it has a noticeable impact on my friendships. Not necessarily in a bad way, but it's a change nonetheless. [Also, in the event anyone is interested in Royal happenings like I occasionally am, this article is worth a read!] 

3. The Day Designer hype. I'm a huge planner nerd and ordered my first Day Designer during the presale this week! If you're interested, today's the last day to pre-order and get a fun pack of stickers with your order! If you're a daily planning/list making fanatic, I'd highly recommend this one.

4. Star Wars. I have been a Star Wars fan for as long as I can remember. It was one of the first movies I watched with my dad so not only was it a great bonding experience but a chance for him to instill his fandom in me. I guess it worked because I have been obsessing over the trailer all week! Bah! So excited for opening night!

5. I feel like my blog feed is full of about a million topics and I absolutely love it. Angela from the Sunday Chapter has great advice about fighting anxiety, Eliza talks about picking the proper primer, and May is doing a cool introduction series accompanied by serious gorgeous pictures. 

Hope everyone's weekend is A+ :) 

The Weekly Happy Hour: Parkside

I just wanted to thank you guys for your supportive comments on the 'What's the Point of Blogging?' post. Like a lot of you guys, I resist the idea of blogging being 'dead' because I resist the idea of losing this space where I can talk about important things and also, fun but probably less important things (in the grand scheme of the world). Even though, I'm not sure that spending time with friends is ever unimportant. Goodness knows I would go crazy without midweek socialization.

This week, it was my turn to pick the happy hour and because I missed last week, I was eager to hit the ground running. The website for Parkside immediately drew me in. Fries? Cheeseburger? Mac and Cheese?? It seems like the perfect, warm place to take refuge on this dreary, almost rainy day.

Park side is on Dirty 6th, a place I'd been a thousand times before but I'd never noticed the little restaurant tucked away on the corner. At 5:30, the place was already popping and the atmosphere was fun and Friday-esque.

I got a drink that was part strawberry Stoli, part champagne and part sugar and it was so, so good. For most of my of-drinking-age life, I've tended to stick with the same things so it's a nice change of pace trying drinks I wouldn't have otherwise tried.

Having been put on notice that there would be cheeseburgers, I tried to eat healthy during the day which meant I was starving when I got there. I got the cheeseburger, Karlz got the fried egg sandwich and Ferj got the ceviche and it was all so tasty. The fries were those crispy, wonderfully salty kind and were served with a garlic aioli. It was the perfect offset to the sweetness of the drink. Like, I'll be honest, I wish I was eating it right now.

We were tucked in a corner booth and it was the perfect place to talk about our jobs, the holidays and the very real stress of waiting for Bar results. 

I'd definitely come back with friends, with J, or even with a good book. Such a delicious, well-priced and centrally located place! Plus happy hour, which runs till 6:30 is half price off of cocktails, beer and the bar menu! 

Like with all happy hours, I was sad to see it end but I did see this really strange thing outside of Roppollo's, a drunken night out institution on 6th. Not surprisingly, there was a massive line of people waiting to take a picture with it. Oh, Austin. 

Here's to hoping the rest of the week flies by! 

Overall rating: 4/5