Wordy Wednesday: Uncertainty

I have this thing where I don't like uncertainty. I don't like the unknown (like most humans, I would imagine). I fight against it. Literally, I do everything in my power to know everything which, at the end of the day, just isn't a feasible task.

I've been working with my therapist to become more comfortable living in the gray areas and I like to think I've made a lot of progress. Still, there come times when the anxiety gnaws at me because I don't know what's going to happen to me. I don't trust myself and my ability to make decisions which is sort of silly since I've done a pretty good job so far.

I don't trust myself and I don't like change so the thought of my immediate world changing is stressful. More than stressful. It's can't-eat-lunch-I'm-going-to-be-sick stressful (still working with the therapist on that).

To counteract my fear, I try to hold on to the things I do know. I know this blog will continue to be. I know I love my animals and family and they love me. I know the sun will probably rise tomorrow. I know I will always love PSL.

I don't know where I'm going to be living this time next year. I don't know if I'll be at the same job. I don't know if I want those things to stay the same, but I also don't know if I want them to change. I'm a disaster, I know, but hey, I guess that's another thing I know.